In a post-Brexit, pre-dystopian Britain, the traditional political system has collapsed and Oxford and Cambridge are on the verge of war. Cambridge have captured ex-Prime Minister and notorious warmonger Tony Blair and tied him to a chair in the kitchen. Door-to-door duster salesman and occasional spy Nigel Farage has just returned from his mission to … More Meanwhile, In Oxford…
“Everyone just stop for a moment!” Minister for Good Ideas & Gin Dr Samantha Martens strode into the centre of the pantry, stern palm aloft and a determined expression on her face. “Thank god,” the Prime Minister whispered to Boris, King of Oxford. “She must’ve had a Good Idea.” “I’ll bet you a shiny farthing … More My Mum Shot Tony Blair
“There’s no need to look so bloody smug, you curly haired bastard.” But the Chancellor was wasting his breath. The Cabinet Secretary’s default setting was smug and the unexpected turn of events this afternoon had given him good reason to be. “This will put an end to any idea of that ridiculous peace treaty,” mused … More The Butler Did It?
“Mumsie, the lies and deceit have gone on long enough,” the voice of Snetterton was hot and husky in her ear. “The truth will set us free, my darling.” “The only thing I want setting free is the catch on this bloody bra,” Mumsie replied, struggling in a most ungainly manner with the stubborn fastening … More Charades
Where do butlers go when they aren’t buttling? This is a question that has troubled mankind for centuries. Well, perhaps ‘troubled’ is going a bit far. ‘Mildly interested’ might be more appropriate. Also ‘mankind’ is rather broad. A few posh types might have considered it on occasion. But we must allow for some artistic license. … More The Art Of Distraction